All good things come to an end. There’s a time limit on it all. I’ve broken hearts and I’ve had my heart broken. There’s been no right or wrong either time. There’s some good, some bad. I just wonder where the worth we once had for one another sits by the end of it all. […]Read more "My bad"
The precipe of the good and the bad has been disfigured beyond recognition. There’s a beaten child in the corner crying for some humanity. It’s arguable cancer will take them before suicide. Their Dad left for a pack of smokes, rumour is he isn’t coming back. There’s little to care about when these might just […]Read more "Intravenous malformation"
Violence in the streets, degradation in the sheets. “Mr. Brizell get a bloody hold of yourself. This soul of yours is in ruins. There’s talk of your sickening behaviour, unrepentant sefishness and wild romancing. We want your head” My sunglasses are askew and I’ve misplaced my heart down a grimy alley. All in all the […]Read more "If you’re going to sit on my face, I may as well just be your man"
Slaughtered souls; the immolated masses pour forth from the carnal abyss, Stripped, abused bodies, cascading forth bringing their tragedy into the clinical hell of illusion. Here we are looking inwards. The world coalesces in spiteful furore. I’ve checked out of the hotel and settled in at the therapists. ‘Oh Mr. Brizell, that girl with the […]Read more "To play the part"
On 4:44 Jay-Z rapped ‘if everybody’s crazy, you’re the one that’s insane’ he wasn’t wrong. I’m looking around, at everyone, at myself, I’m looking too deep for my own good and being unsettled by what I see: cheating, degradation, self-harm, self-loathing. That’s just scratching away at the cracked porcelain surface. The world’s insane and I’m […]Read more "Discomfort"
A small village nestled in northern Britain, unknown by even those who live nearby, yet unforgettable to those that reside within, and hardly for any good reason. Trees border the edges of muddy, disconcertingly empty farmland. Hay bales lie in unremarkable desolation; the winter scars the ground, Summer brings it into decay. To the naked […]Read more "A brief inquiry into a village in Northern Britain"
Does time ever stop? I’m clinging onto the clock hands, but i’m slipping. you’re all watching, waiting for me to slip. i know no one’s gonna catch me. I’m lost in the hate of myself. the nightmares are back. Since June nothing has changed. I’m stuck in a painfully torturous cycle. Ben, you talk like […]Read more "Oh Mr. Brizell, what have you done now?"
I awaken feeling sad, broken and wishing I felt none of these things. Tomorrow i’m waking up alone and going to remember everything that once could have been. The world has a hell of a right hook, i never expected a black eye that bad. words bite, inexperience harms, i wish that had been pinned […]Read more "2018: Madness masquerading as sanity"
Mixing alcohol and paracetamol, isn’t just a good rhyme, it’s usually a sign that shit went south at some point, and trust me it did. I never anticipated revealing my struggles, my shattered mental health to someone would be so hard, let alone to a loved one. Of course it’s after saying it, I realised […]Read more "Ben- ‘it’s Okay, Tell me’ (or new habits die old)"
I have a recurring dream which plagues me. At this point in its existence you could consider it a waking dream. Whenever shit goes bad, I find myself in a hotel lobby, bedraggled and hopeless, on what I presume is an unholy cocktail of substances, that keeps me barely lucid and leaves me periodically blacking […]Read more "Mr. Brizell, we’re glad to see you again"